that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
