Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
