Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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