Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize