Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
