The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize