Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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