But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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