At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
