that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
