He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
