we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
