i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
