I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
