So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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