you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
