either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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