I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
