sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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