I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize