She is in my trunk
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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