in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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