hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
