make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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