I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
