You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
