Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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