well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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