I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
