New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I deserve this hangover.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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