i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
