Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he fucked my hip out of place.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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