omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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