Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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