do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
