don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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