Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
