Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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