She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
