why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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