ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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