im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
