You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
