And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
