Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
