He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
