We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize