alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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