Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
