so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
