my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
