Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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