i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize