Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
