Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
