So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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