im holly from the hills drunk
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize