trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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