Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
