oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
