That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
