Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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