Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That's when you crack a 10am beer
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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