I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize