i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize