I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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