Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
