Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
