Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Michael Bay diarrhea
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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