Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You've changed since you got that strap on
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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