went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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